Dichroic Reflections

Back to work. Our company’s gone, and Rudder’s gone too, off to Europe for work, so it’s eerily quiet in the house.The in-laws’ visit went very well. This is the longest they’ve stayed with us, over 2 weeks; normally they leave while we still want more of them, but the long flight to Taiwan and the fact that they’re retired made a longer visit more sensible. Fortunately they are easy and appreciative guests. The only real annoyance was noticing how my MIL handles books; I will *not* be loaning her any whose condition I care about. On the other hand, it’s not hard to get copies of Nine Tailors and the sacrifice of this one will be worth it if she finds she likes Sayers.

We took them to most of the local sights, for day trips to the cool rock formations at Yehliu Geological Park (where the hiking turns out to be much easier when it isn’t 90 degrees F!) and the sweeping views from Jiufen (for Arizona people, this is Taiwan’s equivalent of Jerome, only ten times more crowded) and for longer trips to Taroko Gorge and Thailand.

Taroko Gorge is an absolutely spectacular marble canyon. It’s a bit difficult to photograph because it’s so narrow, but some of our attempts came out well. (Posting photos is on my to-do list.) The views are incredible. The park has steep cliffs overhanging chasms, a Buddhist monastery, hiking trails, suspension bridges, and enormously old sacred tree, lots and lots of fairly nerve-wracking one-lane mountain roads and more tunnels than my father-in-law really wanted to see in his entire life. The hotel we stayed at was at least a four star, with a rooftop pool that had Rudder’s mother lamenting the bathing suit she didn’t bring. It did have some design oddities, like a giant window in the wall between the bathtub and the bedroom. This makes going to the bathroom at night hazardous, if you don’t want to wake your partner: either you stumble in the dark or you forget about the window and turn on the light. This was my approach, only the switch made it even worse by deciding to turn on *all* room lights. Ted wasn’t too pleased with me. We decided to drive home over the mountains instead of back up the west coast of Taiwan; unfortunately the obvious road to take was closed, and even more unfortunately we didn’t learn this until we’d driven on it for an hour and a half. The more southerly route finally got us home, after we’d gotten to see a little snow (!) and some fairly nerve-wracking one-lane mountain roads (they have those in the park too, not to mention more tunnels than my father-in-law really wanted to see in his entire life.

In Thailand we had our own private guide, Chob, and a van with driver. This turned out to be a very good way to see the country, giving us far more access and information than going on our own and being far less annoying than a group tour. It could have been pretty awful if we hadn’t liked the guide, but we did, and each for different reasons. One odd problem with traveling in Asia is that people can be so very friendly and helpful that it can make Americans feel awkward (me, anyway); having a guide who was clearly a high-level professional who enjoyed his job and loved his country made that not a problem. We spent one day seeing the National Palace, several temples, the Emerald Buddha, and the canals in Bangkok. On the second day we went up north to the bridge over the river Kwai and the JEATH POW camp museum, then got to cheer up by riding elephants (really riding: the driver slipped down and had me take his spot on the elephant’s head for a bit) then going to the Tiger Temple to pet sleeping tigers. On our third day we went to see the ruins of the old capital Ayutthaya, then for a boat ride around it. I’ve concluded that, much as I love Thai food, having it for lunch and dinner every day is a bit much. We also got to the Suan Lum Night Bazaar and the more touristy Patpong Night Market, and Rudder’s mom and I went for a Thai/Swedish massage that was under $20 US for an hour. (The traditional Thai massage is even cheaper, but I was afraid it would be like Shiatsu, which I don’t like as much.)

At home in Taipei, we took Rudder’s parents to the usual local stuff: the phenomenal National Palace Museum, to the National Revolutionary martyr’s Shrine (and saw the changing of the guard), the Longshan Temple (though it was too early for Snake Alley to be really open), all around our neighborhood (little things can be the most interesting in a place that’s very foreign) and up to the top of Taipei 101. We fed them well too: Christmas dinner, of course, dim sum dumplings, Ruth’s Chris for Rudder’s birthday, Diamond Tony’s Panorama resturant on the 85th floor of the 101. (Technically, they took us for that one.)

I think they enjoyed it, and I don’t think we ran them too ragged. We relaxed enough that while I’m not thrilled to be back to work, at least I’m not feeling like I need another vacation to recover - which is a good thing since the next vacation is an Ice Hotel for Chinese New Year in a few weeks. I will try to get photos from this vacation posted before we take the next one!

Two or three hours more of work, depending on whether I skip out right after my last meeting. Then I drive home, 45 minutes or so, then later tonight we drive all the way back out past work (much quicker at that time of night) and hope we can find the short-term parking at the airport, so we can pick up Ted’s parents. If there’s time between work and the airport trip I may erg, since I didn’t this morning; otherwise I’ll have to do it tomorrow. I figure the in-laws will be tired enough that no one will miss me if I’m on the erg for an hour. I have to erg 18km Saturday anyway, so they may as well get used to it.

We’re not completely sure what we’ll feed them, but we’ll manage. Breakfast is always the big challenge, since we generally don’t eat anything more elaborate than a bagel (him) or granola bar (me). However we have cereals, granola bars, oranges, bagels, cream cheese and bread, so I don’t think they’ll starve.

I could use some rest. Fortunately they’re not demanding sorts of guests - they pitch in with cooking and cleanup, and don’t demand to be entertained constantly. They also understand when other people need downtime. Plus I think they’ll be pretty tired their first few days here after that epic plane trip, 17 hours or so, not to mention the flurry of getting ready. My husband, who is not as good as his parents at allowng for the frailties of others, doesn’t quite understand why they’re feeling so wrung out after preparations for a long international trip that they’re not used to plus a business trip to Minneapolis in winter for him and a frantic trip to Seattle during its recent epic cold spell for her after they realized their passports needed to be renewed. (They weren’t being stupid and they had made sure theirs were still valid, just hadn’t realized that Taiwan demands a passport that’s valid for 6 months after arrival no matter how short a time you plan to stay.) I suspect we’ll be spending most of the first couple of days all resting, with maybe just a trip or to to see some local sights.

More than two weeks off work, congenial company, Chanukah (the candles mom sent arrived yesterday), a few days to rest before an overnight road trip to a place I just heard described as one of the most beautiful in the world, Christmas, New Years, Thailand … and then the in-laws leave and Ted takes off almost simultaneously on a business trip and I have the apartment to myself. Sounds pretty good to me, even if I do have to dive back into my training program then right at the 75+km weeks.

This season, I seem to have been saying the same thing over and over in different ways. I’ve posted one of these here before, but wanted to put them all together, for achiving purposes. (I’d also like to mention that the first poem came in third in a small poetry contest. (Only 18 entries, 30-some votes - but I get a prize!)

Festivals of Light

Surely darkness comprehends the light:

encircles it, surrounds, curtails its length.
In this time of longer, deeper night
the growing dark saps love and life and strength.

This is not new; with lamp oil, wax and tallow
Our mothers’ mothers long have done the same.
In winter’s shortening days when fields lay fallow
they called the sun back with a hallowed flame.

Diwali, Christmas, St. Lucia’s Day:
we light the candles, nurse each tiny spark.
Chanukah and Solstice, each a way
affirming light and life amid the dark.

So in the darkness of each dying year,
I kindle light to cast out ancient fear.

a light in winter

The year is drawing in, the winter’s near
The newscast moans of terror and despair
A hellish swirl of doubting, dread and fear.

Then as the maelstrom waters iris closed
I see a tiny light that shows the way
An answer promised, questions yet unposed.

A light - from candle, lamp or strung on tree
It kindles, bravely holding off the dark
And breathes of maybes, hopes, and cautious dreams.

I wonder, sometimes, if it’s God’s own mark,
That miracle of light, the ancient spark.

too dark to think

darkness sits in we
scrambling our
words
our worst
thinking

lost thoughts
not knowing
where / when
the light
will come

knowing
it will.

Tomorrow is December and I will keep going

Tomorrow I will get back on the erg.
That’s what I do, this time of year.
Saturday I rowed twenty-five thousand meters.
Yesterday I rowed fifteen.
Yesterday, also, I finished a challenge:
two hundred kilometers from
Thanksgiving to Christmas.
But tomorrow I will be back on the erg.

The other day my friend made lussekatter;
that’s what she does, this time of year.
This time her body would not cooperate
and the butter went flying,
all over the kitchen.
She melted more,
and kneaded and kneaded and kneaded
(because lussekatter are demanding that way).
Eventually the dough came away from the bowl
and was baked.
The kitchen was filled with saffron scent
and the house was filled the promise
of light returning.

That’s what we do, this time of year,
when the days get short
and the chores get long.
We go, and we keep going
and when we fall short
we get up, and we do what we can,
we light a candle, and we row on;
we nourish the ones we love,
and we take comfort in knowing
we’ve been through this
before.

We have turkey!!

We came upon it unexpectedly in the small gourmet grocery t the bottom of the local mall, so we snapped it up. It’s a slightly strange-looking one, packed more like a piece of chicken on a styrofoam tray with plastic wrap over it instead of in a bag. The color is more mottled than I’m used to in turkeys. I think it’s OK; fortunately my Mother-in-law, who has degrees in Home Ec as well as chemistry will be here, so I can get a good second opinion. We may still get another one if Costco has them; Ted likes to freeze the meat in single-serving packets for later consumption.

It was a good weekend for finishing things. I completed the Concept 2 Holiday Challenge with a new personal record: only 18 days! And that’s with taking days off of rowing, which I don’t normally do. You do enough of those 15-25 km pieces and they add up. Now I just have to keep going, having just started week 20 of 26 of my marathon training. (I’ll put it on hold and just do maintenance training over Xmas / New Year’s weeks.)

And I finished the socks I am knitting for Ted, even to weaving the ends. They could use blocking to make the pattern look better, but I can’t do that without his seeing them. So that’s my holiday knitting done.

I have one present to buy (and know what it is) to complete a friend’s presentry, leaving me with only one more problem; one relative requested a donation to a charity in lieu of a gift, and said charity only takes checks. I don’t want to mail a check internationally. The bank will mail checks for me, but doesn’t leave enough room in their form for it to be properly addressed, and won’t include a note so I can have an “In Your Honor” acknowledgement sent. I’ve emailed said relative to ask if it’s better to have the check sent to him for forwarding (or my Mom would probably do it) or if I can just send money to a charity working for the same cause who takes credit cards and Paypal.

Otherwise, I’m ready; I just have to work through Thursday and then all is holiday cheer.

For several years at around this time of year, I’ve posted or linked to the lyrics to Peter Yarrow’s Chanukah song “Light One Candle”. (Here they are, with an account of the history behind the holiday.) Every year, they seem more appropriate.

As is probably clear, I’m not a very observant Jew. But I do light candles and say the brachas every year. Chanukah means a lot to me, not for the “we won, neener neener!” aspect of the holiday but for the idea of kindling a light at the darkest time of year, an idea it shares with all of the winter Solstice holidays. It’s an image that keeps coming back to me; candles and sparks and stars all over my writing. Here’s the most recent attempt:

A Light in Winter

The year is drawing in, the winter’s near
The newscast moans of terror and despair
A hellish swirl of doubting, dread and fear.

Then as the maelstrom waters iris closed
I see a tiny light that shows the way
An answer promised, questions yet unposed.

A light - from candle, lamp or strung on tree
It kindles, bravely holding off the dark
And breathes of maybes, hopes, and cautious dreams.

I wonder, sometimes, if it’s God’s own mark,
That miracle of light, the ancient spark.

I had yesterday off from work, though with the sort of itinerary that makes you wish you were at work: to the hospital for a medical check-up, home to erg 18 km, dentist’s to have my teeth cleaned. The check-up was actually very interesting: Taiwanese companies are required by law to provide annual checkups for all employees, so we all had to sign up for a particular morning. Ted and I chose the same day, for convenience, and being over 40 we each got to choose one extra exam: carotid artery sonography, heart sonography, or upper gastric pan-endoscopy. I chose the upper gastric, but it was over-subscribed so I took the heart sonography instead.

This was the most thorough check-up I’ve ever had, far more so than any time I requested a check-up from an American doctor. They dd the usual stuff like checking height, weight, blood pressure and pulse, and taking blood and urine samples, then checked vision and hearing as US doctors do for a flight physical, but they also did a chest x-ray, abdominal sonogram to look at the liver and gallbladder (what can they tell from just looking at those?) and the heart sonogram. That one was fascinating: I got to see my heart beating and the blood moving from chamber to chamber. It turns out I have a minor mitral valve regurgitation, but since Mom and Ted both have that I know it’s nothing to worry about. My blood pressure was higher than usual, but sinc eit was taken after I’d been shuttled around a strange hospital for a while that may be why. The doctor’s other comment to both me and Ted was that our heart rates are “slow” - I’m sure the rowing has a lot to do with that! Hopefully they will send us the results of all their analyses. (And hopefully it won’t all be in Chinese!)

The erging was considerably less interesting and the dentist wasn’t fun at all. The hygienist was quite gentle but she also found a cracked filling (one they’d put in just six months ago) so I need to go back on Friday to get that corrected.

Otherwise, we’re just looking forward to the holidays and getting ready for Ted’s parents’ visit here. All but two of my presents are bought, and of the two, one is alredy determined (a donation, by request of the recipient) and I have some ideas for the other. I got my cards mostly done last night. Ted actually sent his out a week or two ago - I do like being married to a grown-up who writes his own Christmas cards and buys presents for his side of the family!

My holiday knitting is nearly done; I just have a couple of inches on the second sock for Ted and that’s it. I’ve started the replacement to the sweater-in-progress left on a plane last year, and after all that knitting with sock yarn it’s going pleasantly fast - I want to have it done for our trip to Sweden over Chinese New Year.

The trickiest part of the parents’ visit has been figuring out what to do about our guestroom bed, which is hard as a rock. It’s just a hard mattress on top of a word platform. We have an inflatable bed, but I’m worried that it will be too soft - my FIL has a bad back. Also, when it’s inflated and set up on the bed platform even with the real mattress removed it’s awfully high. Combined that with the softness around the edges and I’d be worried about someone falling out. I think we’ll just get a foam pad to put on the mattress, then if it’s still too hard they’ll have the inflatable as a back-up plan.

Oh, and with yesterday’s long row, I have the annual Holiday Challenge over three-fourths done - 156,231 meters rowed!

Mom got my first lace shawl, so this one is for my MIL. (I hope she doesn’t mind that it’s only a small shoulder shawl. She’s not a particularly large person.)

Thanksgiving here was pretty good; the only turkey I could find was one in a fancy box that was already roasted and stuffed and only needed reheating, with packets of gravy and cranberry sauce included. I would much rather roast my own but I have to admit that this one came out pretty good. Even the gravy didn’t taste commercial and the stuffing only had the ingredients you might use yourself, no chemicals or preservatives. With it I made salad, double-baked potatoes (with creme fraiche because I couldn’t find sour cream - they were outstanding, but I still don’t know the difference between creme fraiche and sour cream) asparagus, and applesauce. I made the applesauce only because we didn’t know about the cranberry sauce until we opened the box to reheat the turkey and I just had to guess which one of the two kinds of apples in the grocery store would be better for baking, but it turned out extremely easy and very tasty. I’ll definitely make that again. We had one guest, an American who works for Ted whose (Korean) wife is out of town.

Now I just have to work three weeks, during which we move into our brand new office building, then Ted’s parents come in for a visit and I’m off for two weeks. My in-laws are the sort of visitors you welcome in and are sorry to say goodbye to, so I’m looking forward to it. We’re supposed to go to Thailand with them for a few days, but given current news from Bangkok, that’s looking a bit iffy.

Otherwise, I have finished knitting the shawl for my mother-in-law; now I just need to finish the socks for Ted, but I can only work on those when he’s not around. (He doesn’t read here, though he knows about it.) I have two other projects on the needles, the last of the rowing socks and a Dodecahedron pillow I started just for car knitting; I am being firm and forcing myself to finish at least one of those because I dive back in to recreate the Manos del Uruguay cardigan I left on a plane last year. I’d like to have it done in time for our visit to an ice hotel at the end of January. (Hmm. Maybe that deadline’s enough excuse to start right away? But I hate to have old projects sitting moldering.)

To get back on track after the US trip, I erged six days in a row with on breaks from last Tuesday through yesterday, for a total of 81 km (!). Fifty six of those count for this year’s Holiday Challange (the other 25 were before Thanksgiving) so I’m a quarter of the way done. Maybe I was a little hungrier than normal, but it wasn’t really noticeable (especially during Thanksgiving weekend!). What I did notice is that I’ve been getting sleepy much earlier than usual, and sleeping pretty soundly. I finally had a day off today, getting back to my normal schedule of Monday and Thursday off; tomorrow it’s back on the machine for another 11km.

That was a good, good trip. The trip home wasn’t quite as good as the trip there - which is to say it was about normal for a stupidly long trip, with normal levels of crowding instead of empty seats next to us. Not bad, though. Getting home at just before midnight Sunday and going into work Monday wasn’t wonderful, but we’re taking two days off at the end of the week for Thanksgiving. (That does mean we have to survive a turkey-hunting trip to Costco sometime before then.) But just to recap:

Hotel: comfortable, in the way that those mid-range long-stay hotels seem to do so much better than upscale ones.
Friends seen: rowing people, LJ people, his work people, two of my work people.
Beer: our two favorite brewpubs.
Mexican food: about three times, plus Chipotle burritoes, if those count.
Cajun food: nope. It closed. But that gave us a free evening for:
Steak: By popular acclaimation, Fleming’s steaks really are better than Ruth’s Chris (we have the latter here in Taipei, actually, and will have Rudder’s birthday dinner there).
Shopping: Slightly embarassing. One pair jeans (Gap hasn’t changed the fit on their Long & Lean, yay!), skivvies (sports and otherwise),rowing gear, beading stuff, yarn for one sweater and two pair socks, spectacular stone buttons for that sweater and dichroic glass ones (!) for another, electronics (holiday gifts, mostly), books (Kindle and paper), assorted other useful stuff including a meat thermometer for the turkey.
More on the books: slightly disappointed how many aren’t on the Kindle yet, but decided it’s definitely worth spenting $1-2 for a collection of all of Austen, say, or all Trollope’s Palliser books with Table of Contents and some formatting.I probably bought at least 20 books for the Kindle, but at least 3/4 of them would have been those collections. Definitely approve of the Kindle.
Workouts: I R A slacker. Should have done 60km this week, had I not decided to pause the training for a week. Had all the chances in the world - the offer of boats from three different clubs plus K’s own ones plus B’s kind offer to let us come lift at his place. In actuality rowed twice, 10km in a double and 15km in a quad (with Ted, R, and K. No erging, no lifting. Back to the trenches this week for me, with the added incentive of the Concept II Holiday Challenge beginning Thursday (that’s to erg 200 km from Thanksgiving to Christmas Eve).
Massage One. Very good, but would have been better without the political discussion.
Posts I need to write: at least three. One on Mamma Mia! (which I saw on the plane and loved), one on women’s bodies and an increasing number of mature ones showcased as role models (with attention to both Mamma Mia! and the recent US campaign), one on the perfect bra and what makes one.
Enjoyment level: very high. I had forgotten what a comfortable and convenient place Phoenix is when it’s not doing an oven impersonation to distract me from its good points.

Note: Anyone who reads me on Livejournal will have noticed that this post is a duplicate. Is there anyone left who reads here and not there? I’m thinking of just putting future entries there. It always seems hard to remember to post stuff here, when I hang out so much there.

I don’t think Veteran’s Day is celebrated in Asia much, but I’ve been thinking about it - more properly, about Armistice Day, the remembrance of a time when - briefly - nations laid down their swords and hope flared.

Radiofreerlyeh has posted a video and the lyrics to Eric Bogle’s song No Man’s Land (the one also called Private William MacBride). As I’ve read all of the posts for Veteran’s Day, that song has been going through my mind. I thought of posting it myself but stopped because the thing about that song is, it’s not really an artifact of WWI. As powerful and wrenching as it is, it’s more a Vietnam-era reaction to the horrors of war. Eric Bogle asks, “Did you really believe them when they told you the cause? Did you really believe that this war would end wars?”

I think one of the reasons WWI was such a turning point in Western history is that maybe it was the last time an honest, thinking man could answer “Yes” to that question - and that’s exactly why the ugly carnage of the trenches was not only a horror but such a disillusionment. In contrast, in A Quaker Book of Wisdom, Robert Lawrence Smith writes about his decision to enlist as a soldier in WWII despite his Quaker faith and pacifist beliefs. I don’t have the book here, but he says something like “Quakers are taught to revere the light within. When I thought about it, this war seemed like the most clear conflict between light and darkness that I would ever see in my life.” Of course, that’s a memory from decades later, but it’s still clear that he, as a young idealist, went into that war to fight against a particular evil. He may have viewed it as a manifestation of evil in general, but not as its root cause; he hoped his war would clear out a pernicious evil but not that it would end all wars.

L.M. Montgomery wrote Rilla of Ingleside in 1921 - just a few years after the war, before the failure of the League of Nations, well before German troops annexed Austria and rolled over Poland to prove the futility of dreams of an end to war. I don’t think the letter in it from Walter to his younger sister Rilla could have been written for any later war, even in fiction. An excerpt:

“Rilla, the Piper will pipe me ‘west’ tomorrow. I feel sure of this. And Rilla, I’m not afraid. When you hear the news, remember that. I’ve won my own freedom here­ - freedom from all fear. I shall never be afraid of anything again­not of death­ - nor of life, if after all, I am to go on living. And life, I think, would be the harder of the two to face­ - for it could never be beautiful for me again. There would always be such horrible things to remember­ - things that would make life ugly and painful always for me. I could never forget them. But whether it’s life or death, I’m not afraid, Rilla-my-Rilla, and I am not sorry that I came. I’m satisfied. I’ll never write the poems I once dreamed of writing - ­but I’ve helped to make Canada safe for the poets of the future - ­for the workers of the future­ - ay, and the dreamers, too­ - for if no man dreams, there will be nothing for the workers to fulfil - ­the future, not of Canada only but of the world - ­when the ‘red rain’ of Langemarck and Verdun shall have brought forth a golden harvest­ - not in a year or two, as some foolishly think, but a generation later, when the seed sown now shall have had time to germinate and grow. Yes, I’m glad I came, Rilla. It isn’t only the fate of the little sea-born island I love that is in the balance - ­nor of Canada nor of England. It’s the fate of mankind. That is what we’re fighting for. And we shall win­ - never for a moment doubt that, Rilla. For it isn’t only the living who are fighting­ - the dead are fighting too. Such an army cannot be defeated.

“Is there laughter in your face yet, Rilla? I hope so. The world will need laughter and courage more than ever in the years that will come next. I don’t want to preach­ - this isn’t any time for it. But I just want to say something that may help you over the worst when you hear that I’ve gone ‘west.’ I’ve a premonition about you, Rilla, as well as about myself. I think Ken will go back to you - ­and that there are long years of happiness for you by-and-by. And you will tell your children of the Idea we fought and died for - ­teach them it must be lived for as well as died for, else the price paid for it will have been given for nought. This will be part of your work, Rilla. And if you­all you girls back in the homeland - ­do it, then we who don’t come back will know that you have not ‘broken faith’ with us. ”

There have been wars for ‘the fate of mankind’ since, unfortunately, and wars for Ideas too - generally either the Idea of the right to kill your neighbor or the Idea that you shouldn’t. I don’t think there have been wars since to make the world safe for the poets of the future - at least not any that expected safety to be permanent.