Well. Last night’s arena football game (Arizona Rattlers vs. San Jose) made me glad I wasn’t paying to attend it. (We’d gotten tickets for my company’s box.) Sitting in the private box with free beer was nice, but I actually enjoyed the background music more than the game itself. I’d buy a CD of it if they sold one -- all 70s and 80s anthems -- perfect for the last bit of long drives, when you’re struggling to stay awake. Everything from Love Stinks to What I Like About You to Paradise by the Dashboard Light.
The game itself is played by 8-man teams on a 50-yard field that looks oddly shrunken to eyes used to normal (American) football. Scoring is similar; extra points have to be kicked into a very narrow goal area between two tightly stretched nets set up to protect spectators. (There’s a looser net behid the goal area.) No doubt there were strategy and technical points I was totally missing, but still, I’d have to say it wasn’t one of the more exciting sports I’d seen. Also, it shared regular football’s most annoying characteristic: one minute on the clock could stretch over about 15, real time.
And then there were the cheerleaders! They were wearing tight tops and long black stretch pants. They changed tops for each quarter of the game, but that wasn’t enough to camouflage the fact that these were obviously the ones who’d gotten turned down by the Suns, Cardinals, Diamondbacks, and Mercury cheerleaders. Ditto for their choreographer. They did dance routines after every quarter and during a TV time out that were both intrinsically lame and badly executed. The routines weren’t all that hard, and the dancers weren’t together at all (when they were obviously supposed to be). And at one point they all did cartwheels somewhat worse than the ones I could do by age 6. (And still can, thankyouverymuch.) I hope they all have day jobs. I would suggest modeling for Clairol, as they ably demonstrated every available shade of blond hair. ("Meow!" says your brunette reporter here.)
Interestingly, as Rudder pointed out, the audience (a much less densely packed one than the same venue would have or a hockey game) was almost entirely white, not the case for most other sports here. Not sure what that proves, if anything.
On the agenda for tonight: a fancy dinner and champagne, to celebrate our 8th anniversary a few days late. Please, spare me the July 4 wedding jokes....I think I’ve heard them all.
And someone please tell La Phelps I can (rarely) put together two entries in a row that aren’t on either rowing or books!
Posted by dichroic at July 7, 2001 08:31 AM