Dichroic Reflections

feeling Lucy van Pelt-ish

I can tell I'm in an impatient mood. I went out at lunch to pick up some Chinese food and happed to be listening to Nancy Griffith's Other Voices, Other Rooms in the car. The giveaway was when I noticed I kept making up slightly revised lyrics to the songs she was singin. Sample verse from Bob Dylan's Spanish Leather:

How the f*** can you ask me again?
I have told you over and over
The same damned thing that I tell you today,
I would tell to you tomorrow.

See what I mean? I think I've been feeling a little crabby since just after Christmas. Mostly I think it's a post-holiday let-down thing; I feel like there's nothing much to look forward to, eventhough that's not strictly true. (We have a weekend in San Diego for rowing camp in a couple of weeks, for instance.) Still, I won't have much time off work until at least this summer.

This mood's probably been a little hard on Rudder. I had to bite my tongue hard last night to keeping from telling him to piss off or simply thwapping him with my mug. On the other hand, as I tell him, just because sometimes I react more drastically than others, doesn't mean I'm not annnoyed by the same things all the times. It just means that sometimes I show less reaction.

For some reason he particularly annoys me when he talks about my flying or flight-planning; it just feels like he drones on and on and on about it. And leans on my map and gets in my way. And tells me what to do like I'm an idiot. And tells me two different things two minutes apart. And did I mention that he goes ON and ON and ON?

I think I just have a low tolerance for flying talk in general just because it does tend to go on so long. Possibly also because when I was getting my private pilot rating I worked in an Air Force lab and Rudder had only recently completed his. So I got advice at work and I got advice at home until it's a wonder I didn't give up on the whole thing out of sheer stupidheaded rebellion. It probably exacerbates the whole issue that I'm a little dissatisfied with my flight school at the moment. Too many lessons cancelled due to issues with the airplanes and I'm not as thrilled with my teachers as I was with my first CFI, the one I worked with for my first rating. They're OK, just not great. I could move to another FBO (=flight school) but the others are at the next airport over, a 15-20 minute drive instead of 2 minutes, which makes getting to lessons before or right after work more difficult.

I'm also probably crabby either because I'm exercising less at the moment or because I'm feeling guilty about exercising less. But then if I worked out more I'd go back to being crabby at having to get up way too early and fit that in with the flying. Anyway the lake's still closed (becaue it's a river at the moment) so it's a moot point right now, as far as rowing goes.

So yeah, the reason's still in doubt, but the crabbiness is definitely here.

Posted by dichroic at January 7, 2005 12:38 PM