Dichroic Reflections

my rules

Whew! It looks like we finally have everything figured out for the Masters Nationals regatta. We have someone to take our boats, airfare, hotel and rental car reservations, and plans to see both Mechaieh and my uncle. Now all I have to do is decide for certain which races to get my butt kicked in.

Which reminds me of an entry I've been wanting to write for a while, so here goes. As you will notice, I am not sticking only to important things. I don't expect all of these will work for everyone, but they do for me.

Dichroic's Rules for Living

General:

• It's fine to be scared of something. But that's no reason not to do it.


• There are many reasons to do things: because it would be fun, because you want to see if you can, because you'd learn something you want to know, because it would help someone else, because it's the moral thing to do. But if you can't think of a good reason to do it, then don't waste your time.


• Always tell the truth. But you don't always have to tell all of it.


• People are more important than things, always, and the people who matter to you are more important than places. Pat of Silver Bush was a bit of a sociopath.

Looks:


• Life is also way too short to spend hours getting ready every morning. It's much easier to just come to peace with the way you look and to get a haircut that doesn't require much fussing. This doesn't mean no makeup if you like wearing it - see reason 2 above. And you should be wearing sunscreen. It also doesn't preclude primping for fun or dressing up for a special event. But one of the frightening things in a locker room is to see how many women spend an hour on face and makeup every single day. Who's got that much spare time? And why?


• Similarly, clothing should be comfortable and functional. If not, it had better make you look good to justify itself. It is possibly to be both comfortable and good-looking, but probably not always.


Dietary:


• Don't diet.


• Do try to eat a wide variety, so Something in there will give you whatever vitamins or trace elements you need. Try to include plenty of fruits and veggies.


• Prohibited: Anything you hate so much you can't eat it without gagging. Nothing else.


• Minimize: Anything you think is bad for you and anything that makes you feel sick afterward. For me that means large breakfasts, too much of anything at one sitting, anything too greasy (though cooked in olive oil is OK), large hunks of red meat, more than a tiny bit of dairy. Once in a while I do eat steaks or fast food or ice cream because I like them, but only if I'm not going anywhere afterward.

Work:


• Don't let work take over your life unless you're one of those lucky people who's found your Proper Job, whose life really is your work, like Aung San Suu Kyi or Burt Rutan or Isaac Asimov. Or Marissa. If you Work to Live, as opposed to Living to Work, act like it. And even if you live to work, if your job really is who you are, you should still take breaks to attend to the other parts of your life.


• However, even if you're not in the Porper Job, there should be at least parts of it you enjoy. If not, find something else. You don't have to be miserable eight or ten hours a day.


• Engineers think a bit differently than other people. But not as much so as many others seem to think.


• Just because it's always been done a certain way, doesn't mean it can't be done better.


• You don't have to like your coworkers, though it's more pleasant if you do (and I do). And it doesn't even matter if they don't like you much -- this is where the office has a huge advantage over the schoolyard. You just need to be able to work together.


• Sometimes big changes need to come in small steps.


• It's more important to be nice to people below you than to people above you. People aove you can generally defend themselves.

Men:


• They are not, after all, a different species. And the ones most worth your while don't think women are, either.


• Just because you might sleep with one of them, is no reason not to be friends with another one of them. Or two, or three or five. It's also no reason to desert female friends. It's unreasonable and unfair to expect one person to fill all your companionship needs.


• The most important attribute of a lover is the desire to make his partner feel good - much more important than any particular skill or physical characteristic.


• It's a good sign if, after you've been with someone for six months or so, if you simultaneously feel life you've been together forever and like you just started.


• Even the best relationship is a sine wave (jobs, too) and sometimes all you can do with the low part of the curse is recognize it and ride it out. What you need in the sine curve is a high everage value and not too great an amplitude (otherwise it's one of those abusive relationships that's either ecstatic or horrid). But if those two factors both apply, then sometimes you just have to trust and wait.

Sports:


• Women look good with muscles, even if many clothing designers apparently don't think so.


• In both sports and singing it's more important to be doing it than to be good at doing it. It's silly you think you can't do either unless you're of professional caliber.


• Don't wait until you get in shape to start doing what you want. Start now and do it at whatever level you can manage without hurting yourself. That will get you in shape much faster than doing something you hate and won't stick with in service of soem far-off future goal.


• Celebrate even small successes. Also other people's successes, even if they're competing against you. It's not as much fun to be cut-throat or to only care about big wins.

More generalities:


• Clean up after yourself in public bathrooms.


• Admit it when you're wrong.


• Keep learning.


• Feel free to experiment with recipes (though if you're baking, not with things like the amount of flour and baking powder). Substituting one vegetable for another or one herb for another usually works fairly well.


• Keep your promises. The more powerless the person you make the promise to, the more important it is to keep it.


• When you're offered an exciting opportunity, take it. When you're not, make your own opportunities.
Posted by dichroic at July 22, 2004 01:57 PM