Not much time to write; I have to get back to my all-day class. I do have two
things I wanted to record, though.
When I asked Rudder, "Why
orchids?" I was meaning to ask, "Why is this different than any other time: Why
flowers now and not other times? Are you apologizing and saying you were wrong or
just not wanting us to be mad at each other? Did you know they're my favorites?
Was this a really big thing to you and that's why these instead of
daisies?"
(It's Passover. There have to be four
questions.)
His answer: "They were easily available. The florist I
went to once before (like, half a decade ago!) has closed (wonder why!) so I went
to the supermarket. The only other thing they had were Easter lilies and I didn't
think you'd want those."
Very typical. Still, there's the going to
two whole places on purpose for flowers. Very untypical. Not to mention
sensitivity points for avoiding the lilies.
Also, I had the sort of
epiphany which makes you realize what a dumbass you've been. I always feel
slightly guilty for not keeping Passover and for not having a real Seder. I blame
the latter on my grocery store's and work cafeteria's selection: even getting
Kosher for Passover matzah was difficult. (I have never understood the raison
d'etre of any other kind. It's not like you can't eat Passover food the res tof
the year.)
But on the Seder issue, I don't even really know how to
run one, even if I had Jewish people to invite, and I realized this morning this
is because my family never had a real Seder, only a big family dinner. Moreover, I
don't think my mom's family ever had Seders growing up. (Dad's might have but they
were pretty fragmented otherwise.) We'd hide the Afikoment, and one of us might
ask the Feer Kashes, and ther'd be n extra glass for Elijah, but that's about it.
So when I just make a big dinner of traditional food and serve it to people I care
about, this is my family's religious tradition. No guilt required.