I'm not quite sure how to explain the problem, but Rudder was pissing meoff
yesterday, and for a few days before, to the point where I believe I told him that
he was "poisoning my attitde". (If you're about to give me a lecture on how I
should let others affect my own mood, please don't.) Most of the reason was his
refusal to enter in to any of the things I've been concerned about lately, such as
the lack of seating in our family room that's been driving me nuts for about the
last five years, and the way he always seems to disagree with what I
say.
I think we're out of it now, or emerging. One part of the
solution is that I'm going to try to circle on the calendar every day on which he
drives me nuts to the point of depressing me, just so we can firmly establish that
it's not a hormonal thing. I'm fairly sure it's not, but it's really on in the
last few years that I've been seeing that sort of thing affect my mood at all, and
I still don't always recognize it. But I'll be damned if I let female hormones
ruin my life.
The other thing is that he appears to need me to
present the problem I'm trying to solve, so he can treat it as a problem solving
exercise. This enables him to try to make an ideal solution, which appears to
matter to him (Rudder is not good with Good Enough, or Somewhat Nice Looking; this
was the man who stashed his socks in an old copy-paper box on a closet shelf until
we bought expensive chery bedroom furniture. This also reassures him I'm not
fallin prone to impulse buying (well, it's been known to happen) and to compare
relative priorities. It's true that we also need to consider spending money on a
new roof, redoing the pool (replastering at a minimum, a complete redo with
waterfall and a built-in grill and Pebbletec at max) or redoing the kitchen. That
last may be only a cosmetic redo, but is most apt to recoup its own cost when we
sell.
So I guess I'm not mad at him any more, though more comments
on how nice the weather is here would still be inadvisable. (No matter how happy I
get over other things, it's still too fucking hot here.) We had a decent time
watching ASU play Oregon State last night, courtesy of Rudder's boss' season tix
on row 15 at the 30-yard line. College football is definitely better than the pro
variety; they kept bringing out scholarship winners to be honored instead of some
dumb little honorary ball-boy thing (or whatever the NFL equivalent is), there was
a live marching band instead of an organ and there was a lot less of the video
monitor telling the spectators when and how to react.
The band was
really good; they and the dance team did a Jimmy Buffet mix and halftime that had
very impressive arranging and choreography. Also, the local team won, which is
always nice. Though not for my in-laws the OSU alumni.