Dichroic Reflections

cogitation completed

I'm back, having duly cogitated. No deep thoughts hit, but I didn't really expect
them to. I did do a lot of unwinding and catching up on some things I'd meant to
do forever; not only did I let my mind empty out, but I got the basket full of
papers that site on my file cabinet nearly empty as well, And I finally
embroidered T2's smartass signature on my tablecloth as well. I also made chili. I hadn't really wanted
to go out and spend money, but I needed a few cans of beans so while I was out that way I finally got the oil changed in my truck, as well. I met my husband for lunch, something we can't usually do on weekdays due to distance. And I read and read and read.

It felt right, somehow; much better, at least, than in other years when I've worked through the holiday. Yom Kippur isn't actually meant to be a one-day festival of contrition; the whole ten days before it are for remembering and atoning for sins. Yom Kippur is the seal of all those, the day of Judgement -- and, in a case convincingly made by Baraita, mercy. Maybe I'm doing a bit of cafeteria religion here, but worshipping an infinite God(dess) in a strict and prescribed way sounds pretty silly anyway. Whatever yesterday was or wasn't, it was good for my mental health and my putative serenity. I appreciated the minutes of my day, including even the food I ate (my biggest departure from strict tradition), and the media fast did keep me from gettig sucked into the usual frenzy.

Am I making excuses? Silly of me. This is what I did. I liked it. It worked well for me. I felt bigger at the end of the day than at the beginning.

One decision that I did make was not to waste any further time online. By "wasted time", I mean time in which I am not having fun, or learning something, or getting paid. I will keep updating this journal, but I will not write when I don't have anything to say. (A much rarer occurence than you'd think; remember I didn't say "anything profound to say". But when I don't feel like writing, I won't.) I've written in this journal every day since starting it a year and a half ago, often more than once a day, except for days when I've been out of town. If I ever had anything to prove, it's proved. I will not read other journals or email lists just to keep up with them; I won't read anything online, except as required by work, unless it entertains me or teaches me. Doing recreational things out of a feeling of "ought to" is just silly, and my free time is too scarce. The only real difference to Dichroic Reflections, probably, will be the occasional skipped weekend entry.