If there's one thing I've learned, or learned more about, from reading the
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mindful relationships - that is, being mindful of what you need as well as what
you give, speaking up when things aren't in balance, remembering no one can read
your mind.
The other night, when Rudder sheepishly announced that
he'd have to work at least one day this weekend and so we couldn't go camping, I
realized the reason I wasn't upset was that I've been itching for some time on my
own. I've got lots to do, like make new slings for the boats and install a VPN
client so I can work from home occasionally, but really I just want to be able to
go to the mall or to a bookstore and not be in a hurry to get home. It's not that
he even asks me to come home early; it's just that weekends are almost our only
time together so I feel guilty for spending time on my own. Purely self-induced
guilt, the silliest kind and the hardest sort to get rid of.