Last night the oddest thing happened. Shortly before I was heading up to bed, I
suddenly got very dizzy, for no apparent reason. We'd gone out for an early
lunch/dinner and had brought home some very rich chocolate mousse for dessert. I'd
had some of that an hour or so before the dizziness hit, so Rudder's theory was
that it was from the sugar rush. I don't typically eat a lot of sweets, let alone
chocolate mousse.
So, given lingering remnants of dizziness and my
boat's tippiness, I didn't row this morning. I need to go erg soon, in addition to
the other dozen things on my list for today.
So far, I've been
applying mostly for jobs similar to the one I left. These are positions that would
allow me to develop my skills a bit more, it's true, but still, I feel as if I'm
wasting a golden opportunity to figure out what it is I really want to
do.
The problem is, how do you do that? I mean, if I ask myself,
"Dichroic, what do you really want to do?" no one pipes up with an answer,
and no quiet certainty springs to my mind. The only thing I've figured out is
that I definitely like not working 50 hour weeks and being worried because I don't
work more. I like being able to work at home, at least some of the time. But
that's not a job description.
I keep thinking I should be a writer,
but first you have to write. And then you have to publish. That first step is hard
enough, never mind the second. Still, I figured I might as well try it while I
have the time. But then I ran into another problem; the article I wrote last week,
though I think it's based on a good idea, turned out....well, stuffy. Oh, well, I
think it's just that I'm not used to having to write to professional standards,
though I can recognize when I'm not there. On to rewrite!